Thursday, July 21, 2011

GUESS WHO'S BACK

Yes friends, it's been awhile. I know what you're thinking: Is Adrienne alive? If so, where has she been? What has she been up to? Where the fuck is that personalized haiku she promised to write me over a month ago? Allow me to answer your questions here:

1. As far as I know, I'm alive. Unless I'm in a Bruce Willis/Sixth Sense situation. If I were dead you guys would tell me, right? UNLESS WE'RE ALL DEAD...

2. I've been wallowing in my own despair. Duh.

3. I've been up to all sorts of things. I spent much of the past few weeks doing odd jobs for my parents, including, but not limited to, preparing the outside of my house to be painted (until they wisely decided to hire somebody competent to do it). A week ago, like any idiot with a dream and a general lack of common sense, I ran away to New York where I am now living like a modern-day gypsy. SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO KAYLA AND KIM WHO ARE GENEROUSLY LETTING ME STAY ON THEIR BOMB-ASS FUTON UNTIL I FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. Since moving back, I have found and quit a job. More on that later.

4. Your haikus will be posted on this here website on Tuesday. Why? So that I could title my post "Tuesday? More like HAIKUsday!" I realize this means you will have to wait longer, but I couldn't sacrifice the hilarity of that title for the likes of you. You may be disappointed, but I know that deep down you understand.

Look forward to reading more about poverty/humiliation/dreams being shit on. Oh and dick jokes. Let's not forget the dick jokes.

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