Friday, May 13, 2011

MAKING YOUR RESUMÉ AWESOMÉ: REASONS YOU LEFT YOUR LAST JOB

If you're reading this blog, chances are you don't exactly have the world swinging from your nuts. You're worried that nobody would want to hire a loser like you... and you're right. They don't. Luckily, you can trick employers into thinking you could actually be of use to them using your resumé.

WHAT TO WRITE AS THE REASON YOU LEFT YOUR LAST JOB

DON'T: say "I left my last job because it sucked." 
DO: say something that includes the phrase "lacked potential for career advancement".
BONUS POINTS: mention your respect for your previous boss. Even if he was kind of a dick.

DON'T: say "I was laid off."
DO: say something that includes the phrase "contract expired".
BONUS POINTS: allude to the bad economy.

DON'T: say "I was fired."
DO: say "I had no choice but to go rogue. Like Jack Bauer."
BONUS POINTS: make sure the phone number you give for your previous boss is out of service.

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