CASE OF THE MONDAYS: PANTS

When you're unemployed, time has no meaning. You have nothing to do and nowhere to be. People with jobs hate Mondays because they kick off the work week, requiring them to be at a specific place at a specific time ready to do a specific thing. People without jobs hate Mondays because they serve as a reminder of what their lives were like when they were functioning members of society. This is why once a week I will explore one of the benefits of unemployment in a segment called "Case of the Mondays".

YOUR WHOLE LIFE JUST BECAME "PANTS OPTIONAL"

People with jobs have to look presentable.

But you don't have a job. This rule does not apply to you.

When you don't have a job, there's nothing stopping you from wearing your favorite hoodie and a pair of boxer shorts virtually every day. If for some reason you have to go outside (for instance if you run out of that store-brand cereal you've been living on), you can pull a pair of sweatpants on over your boxer shorts. They don't even have to be clean!

The next time one of your employed friends talks about something they were able to buy with the paycheck they worked for, smile politely. Pretend to be happy for them. Sure, they have money, but you have FREEDOM. The freedom to not wear pants.

When Patrick Henry said "Give me liberty or give me death", he was talking about the right to a pants-free life. If you're unemployed, be proud to drop trou. You're not a disgusting bum- you're a Pantsless Patriot.