The death of my laptop was slow and painful- in July 2011 its parts became mutinous, crippling it until late December, when its little laptop heart couldn't take the strain anymore and stopped beating (I don't understand how laptops work). I spent the next 8 months with incredibly limited computer access. I'd like to share some of the experiences I had in that time in a new weekly segment I'm calling "GOING 'TOPLESS". Because lapTOP?? And I didn't have one?? Ehhh???? You're not funny either.
I wasn't surprised when my laptop died- I had seen it coming for months. I actually thought it might be good for me- maybe if I stopped writing about farts on twitter, I'd do something meaningful with my time! I'd make more of an effort to see my friends in real life if I couldn't catch up with them on Facebook! Instead of spending hours watching Netflix on Demand, I'd read books! I could even learn another language! The death of my laptop would turn me into an amazing person!
To the surprise of exactly one person, none of those things happened. I realized that not having a laptop was going to suck about an hour after it died, when it occurred to me that I couldn't charge my iPod. I didn't have a tv or a radio, and soon, my iPod's battery would die. It would just be me, my apartment, and silence. All of a sudden, I became very aware of the sound of my own breath. Immediately I opened my window, hoping for the ambient noise of cars driving by or something. THERE WAS NOTHING. I decided to buy a radio the next day.
I bought a radio/alarm clock on Jamaica Ave for $9. We got off to a rough start- the reception wasn't great, and I was angry at it for playing Drake all the time. But it was all I had, and I listened to it every waking moment I spent in my apartment. I grew to like the way the static made any "s" sound into a "shhhhhh". "You washhhhhhhn't wit me shootin in the gym!" I'd shout along, deciding that Drake was amazing, and that I should definitely come up with a plan to make him my husband.
To the surprise of exactly one person, my $9 radio died 2 weeks later. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do- should I roll the dice on another cheap radio or invest in a decent one?
Fortunately, the gods of broke-assness were smiling upon me, and I would not be forced to make that decision.
The day after my radio died, I had to work a twelve hour shift at my minimum wage job. When I got out, I was exhausted. I had about 20 minutes of walking to do, and it looked like it was about to rain, so I was walking quickly. About five minutes in, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. It was a radio/cd/cassette player, the likes of which I hadn't seen since 1997 when my brother got one for Christmas (along with Big Willie Style on CD!!!). It was on the curb, next to trashcans. I couldn't believe my good luck. "Somebody's throwing this away??? People are crazy!!" I thought, as I stole trash.
I wasn't surprised when my laptop died- I had seen it coming for months. I actually thought it might be good for me- maybe if I stopped writing about farts on twitter, I'd do something meaningful with my time! I'd make more of an effort to see my friends in real life if I couldn't catch up with them on Facebook! Instead of spending hours watching Netflix on Demand, I'd read books! I could even learn another language! The death of my laptop would turn me into an amazing person!
To the surprise of exactly one person, none of those things happened. I realized that not having a laptop was going to suck about an hour after it died, when it occurred to me that I couldn't charge my iPod. I didn't have a tv or a radio, and soon, my iPod's battery would die. It would just be me, my apartment, and silence. All of a sudden, I became very aware of the sound of my own breath. Immediately I opened my window, hoping for the ambient noise of cars driving by or something. THERE WAS NOTHING. I decided to buy a radio the next day.
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| Where I bought my radio |
I bought a radio/alarm clock on Jamaica Ave for $9. We got off to a rough start- the reception wasn't great, and I was angry at it for playing Drake all the time. But it was all I had, and I listened to it every waking moment I spent in my apartment. I grew to like the way the static made any "s" sound into a "shhhhhh". "You washhhhhhhn't wit me shootin in the gym!" I'd shout along, deciding that Drake was amazing, and that I should definitely come up with a plan to make him my husband.
To the surprise of exactly one person, my $9 radio died 2 weeks later. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do- should I roll the dice on another cheap radio or invest in a decent one?
Fortunately, the gods of broke-assness were smiling upon me, and I would not be forced to make that decision.
The day after my radio died, I had to work a twelve hour shift at my minimum wage job. When I got out, I was exhausted. I had about 20 minutes of walking to do, and it looked like it was about to rain, so I was walking quickly. About five minutes in, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. It was a radio/cd/cassette player, the likes of which I hadn't seen since 1997 when my brother got one for Christmas (along with Big Willie Style on CD!!!). It was on the curb, next to trashcans. I couldn't believe my good luck. "Somebody's throwing this away??? People are crazy!!" I thought, as I stole trash.
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| Me. |
During my walk home, it began to rain. I quickly wrapped it up in my coat to protect it. In January. I ran up the stairs to my apartment and plugged it into my wall, hoping against hope that it would work. 2 minutes later, Drake was telling me to "bus it". And it was good.
The next day, I told my younger brother about my big score. There was an extended pause before he said "Maybe you shouldn't be taking other people's trash." I could hear the judgement in his voice, but I shrugged it off and walked to CVS where I purchased a Michael Jackson CD and a bunch of blank cassettes, ready to rock out like it was the Willenium.
Woo! HaHAAA! HaHAAA!
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